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In a mental health crisis where society is in turmoil because of the opposition between scientific psychology and the alternative, it is those who suffer most from emotional challenges. They may feel that they no longer dare to ask for help or to turn to anyone with their concerns. There are long queues to see psychologists, and all kinds of therapists are not to be trusted.

Before you start looking for support to improve your mental wellbeing, please make sure you read the article ‘What Conscious and Alternative Psychology have in common’. From what is described there, you will realise that the opposing and conflicting extremes are actually quite similar, and the tension will dissolve as clarity emerges about what you really need.

I have written this article primarily to unpack the basics of how successful therapy works and to provide clarity for the person in need to choose the right therapist/counsellor/psychologist etc. for them.

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Who is a therapist?

– A person who has undergone emotional and mental training with the aim of helping the person in need to achieve emotional, mental balance and well-being in an area of concern.
– Guides the person in need through their experiences to healing and contentment.
– Helps the person in need to understand, analyse and change their behaviour, feelings and thought patterns, choices and decisions.
– Is a neutral party in the life of the person in need.
– Possesses therapeutic techniques, methods and practices, either in a specific area or more broadly, to help the person in need.

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What is the purpose of a therapist?

– Increase awareness, responsibility, self-esteem.
– To help the person in need to create clarity about the direction they want to take, the person they want to grow into.
– To support the person on the journey of self-improvement and give them the tools to do so.
– To offer the person in need the opportunity to look inside themselves
– Create a safe and supportive environment for self-discovery and spiritual healing.
– To help the person in need to achieve the desired results, both emotionally and spiritually, and in everyday life.

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How to choose the right therapy and therapist for you?

– First and foremost, the therapist/counsellor/psychologist and the person in need must match as personalities. When you meet a new person, you immediately know whether or not he or she is ‘your’ person. When getting to know a therapist, it is best to have a 15 to 20 minute introductory meeting first to get a feel for whether you are compatible as people to work together, as therapy is first and foremost an agreement between two people, a shared purpose and a collaboration.
– It is important that the person in need understands the methods and content of how therapy works. How can this particular therapy/method/practice help him/her?
– The goal of the therapy must be clear and firm, and the therapist must be able to guide the client in this goal.
– Neutrality and a non-judgemental attitude indicate the therapist’s strong skills.
– The therapist should always be honest with the client about whether or not he or she is competent to help the client.

Some of the signs of a skilled and good therapist are:
– A good therapist is a skilled therapist.
– Highly developed listening skills
– A highly skilled observer
– He/she is an excellent listener and a skilled interpreter
– Good interpersonal skills
– Trustworthy
– Believes in people and their inner wisdom
– Creates a neutral and safe environment
– Is ethical in his dealings with clients
– Collaborative
– Ability to explain to the client what is going on with him/her and why certain changes are necessary.
– Dedication to developing the best action plan for the client.
– Provides the client with moderate challenges for therapeutic purposes
– Always assertive about how the therapy works
– Neutral, free of attitudes, non-judgemental
– Flexibility, adaptable to the client’s personality traits
– Inspiring
– Self-aware, able to distinguish between own feelings and those of the client.
– Critical thinker, always checks the accuracy of data
– Constantly contributing to self-development
– Adequate, objective assessment of the situation
– Empathic
– Accurate
– Mentally stable
– Tolerant

I encourage anyone who is on a journey of self-discovery to follow this path. Self-discovery does not have to be a difficult and scary experience. On the contrary – it can be an easy, surprisingly pleasant, positive and beautiful experience.